My life, its hope for some who can relate

It is always a difficult thing to admit that your marriage, relationship or friendship is coming to an end. The sorrow that you feel when you know you feel one thing but, you grew into two different directions. Do you even know that person anymore? I know personally I am going through this type of thing and it is very hard to say, He does not know anything about me, and it is sad. Making choices especially when one is pushing for one thing but is not actually open to the idea of what his or she is pushing for.

If a person cannot be with you and see you for you and love you when you truly need it instead of rubbing their problems that are all caused by you, years ago and now the problems are different. same excuses just holding something over someones head and telling them the things that will break them down the worst is not love. Its hate, and it truly is such a fine line because if you once loved something and it didn’t go your way you are more likely to hate it or strongly dislike it.

To hate means to still have feelings, the opposite of love is not hate it is indifferent, therefore you would still have hope of some type of outcome of that relationship. Not that you want to love again necessarily but to move on or to heal, and not to spill my whole situation of life but here is how it was summed up because we all do not have time for a lifetime of ups and downs but, my life could certainly become a movie!

Been homeless almost my entire life, my family was split apart one half on the one side of the United states the other on the other side then, life was not to kind I was emotionally and physically damaged and then ran off at the age 13 but all the while raising two of my siblings.

For most kids my age they would have never went across the country with nothing but 25 dollars and a back pack and two kids but, I made sure everyone was fine. I forged my moms signature and enrolled us all in school and we lived in a bad dirty motel after i got a couple snow ball stand jobs. I had perfect attendance and made sure my brother and sister were always fed and were on time for school. My brother decided to go back to california. So it was just my sister and I then she moved into her boyfriends house so it was just me. I slept in gutters sidewalks school parking lots abandon houses, and a bunch of other random crazy places but still i went to school and work. I got three jobs and put my self through driving school and forged my moms signature again to get my drivers license then got a nice old used car, I lived in it then got an apartment on the water. All the while I still worked never missed a day and went to school never missing a day. I graduated high school in 3 years and i was the first in my family to do so at all and I am one of 16 kids. Then I was paid to go to college. So when someone tells me I could not survive in the world I really want to smack them not that I would but thats just part of my life and I never ever play victim or want to be seen that way. So when someone who “loves you” holds things like that over your head they don’t really.

Makes me sad to think that stuff but the world is such a big place just waiting to be discovered and I am not afraid of whats to come because I survive, I always will. There is also one thing that no one can take away from you, that is hope. Hope for a better day and a better life. I will always carry with me as I did on the toughest nights.

I do not feel like I had it very bad, not great sure but my situation is nothing compared to other peoples lives I knew of people who had things worse in someways better than others but you just have to realize that you have to keep moving going forward because there will always be someone out there that has it worse than you and you should be thankful for what you do have and get rid of the things that take you down.


Fall in love with Fall!

ImageFall is amazing!

Time is changing the colors are beautiful the air is cleaner and just waiting for you to jump into autumn fever!

There is so much beauty in nature in this time of year that you have to just enjoy your time on this earth while you have it because just like fall it is a constant reminder that the circle of life is too short and sad to waste time live every day as if it was your last, and enjoy your life do things you dreamed of doing, So you can leave with no regrets!

Vogel peace

Vogel peace

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